Building a loving, joyful relationship with myself has been my quest for years. Lately I have been struggling to feel joy without depending on my partner to fulfill my need for it. After reflecting on this situation I have decided to regain full responsibility in making sure I am doing what I need to do to feel joyful.
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself and if you don’t work on building and improving this relationship, chances are that you will not be too Joyful. Be kind and loving towards yourself and make an effort to start seeing yourself as your own best friend because the moment you do so, you will realize that there is no friendship more valuable then the friendship you have with you own self.
I've noticed that being in a relationship can sometimes pull me away from really being committed and responsible of taking care of my own personal needs and joys. I noticed that I had been allowing myself to rely on 'him' and expect 'him' to give me joy. This only caused harm to my partner and I because it gives space for blame and frustration. This to me was a clear 'inner alarm' that I must reestablish my relationship to myself and my idea of joy.
I had a revelation:
Committing to doing my best to make the 'perfect moment' happen right now, is crucial to maintain a state of joy. Instead of sitting around waiting for it all to 'fall into place', I am now going to actively create the opportunity to feel joy in the moment.
By making choices that align with what Joy means to me.
Let's define joy:
"The Emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying"
What is joy to me?
-feeling physically engaged
-doing new outdoor activities in nature
-being outside in the sun
-being in company of inspiring people
-feeling free to make my own choices
Yesterday I took my first step towards my new outlook in life. I took a moment to check in with myself the night before and this is what I asked myself:
If I owed no one any explanations, what is one thing I would do?
Go to the beach alone.
Go to the beach, be in the sun, close to the water, in silence.
So Saturday morning I went to the Rockaways, with no expectations. When I got there people surfing and there was a hut with some surf boards and wet suits. I heard a voice deep inside me say: "Bibi wouldn't it be so cool if you rented a board and surfed?"
So that's exactly what I did, and how did it feel?
I felt joy, and I was not relying on anyone else to feel it!
I think you also can and I also think you should allow yourself to be joyful.
“Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Who are you relying on for joy?
What is your definition of joy?
What is limiting/stopping you from experiencing it?
What is one step you can take today to give yourself permission to be in a joyful relationship with yourself?
Take some time to look within and find your answers…
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Unleash your joy :)